Thank you for your reply, Menas.
I have for a long time observed how nature reflects the patterns of geometry and there is a certain balance within patterns that I see through these geometry patterns in nature. When looking at a flower there is symmetry and even a huge cluster of ants roaming around has a purpose and order to it, there is chaos and yet complete wholeness when observing these things in nature. Sometimes I witness a bird flying and diving into the sea, what seems like a complete chaotic mess is actually an amazing part of the whole, a bird dives with such skill and ability that it is part of the design of the whole, the bird may or may not get its prey but it is all part of the whole. When you mention “As above so below” it does seem to, that there is a completeness and wholeness in our living here reflected in nature that is also a reflection of the universe as a whole.
Going back to the numbers and sequences I experience, whether I want to see them or not, they appear like a sign, its remarkable, if its not numbers it would be people that I think about and then bump into, this seems to be synchronicity, the more I think about it. I think there is a synchronicity and energy that acknowledges that I am working in tune with myself within the universe. I have no other way to explain why I would be thinking about someone and then see them within a day. Sometimes I feel like I am creating my life, and that there is only the now of me creating at every turn and then I think, but is there anything that is pre-ordained and what am I doing? If I am creating the here and now of my life why is there struggle? Sometimes I get in the flow of life and know intuitively why I am here and I remember an inner part of me that has a higher calling, but then this gets thrown off course by what seems to be a part of myself that likes to change direction which then causes greater confusion with my life and journey. I realise part of growth is challenges and experiences, but the more I realise we create our own experiences and realities I wonder why it takes so long to come back to ones self. Why is this? Why do we have duality? here on this plane of existence?