@susan I am in bed now and just saw this come through to my email. I have recently moved house and havnt had my wifi moved yet so I havnt been on here but that email came through and I felt compelled to try and get on from my cell phone.
I havnt read the whole conversation but I wanted to share this with you. I was born with a minor health issue. It was a deformity in my urethra. As a result I had severe hydronephrosis is my right kidney until I was 23 and it was diagnosed. My whole life I was ill and as a child I struggled because it was a very painful condition. I use to get severe abdominal pain randomly and no one believed me. I wud be forced to partake in Physical Education at school and when I would drink water the pain would start and no one wud listen. As a result I would spontaineously transcend pain instantaneously. By age 10 I took complete control of my own life and health because of this condition I lived with. I read books beyond my years, I explored alternative means to treat myself and I took absolute responsiblity. It wasnt until I was 27 that I really faced the most extreme suffering of my life and death but it was my path. It was my gift. It was my blessing. I would be as ignorant as those that ignored me all my life if I had not been born with this tiny little easily corrected issue that was not diagnosed. Had i not been imprisoned in a body for 23 years and then enudured painful corrective procedures for all the things that were out of wack as a result. Then to top it off, I recooperated, rehabilitiated myself, learned what health felt like and then contracted Hep A on holiday and went to the extreme worst end narrowly surving and building myself up all over again. Why am I sharing this? Because u said abt ur body and I want to tell u its ur greatest teacher. Health issues can be a door to heaven. To absolute freedom. To expression that is entirely independant of the individual self. When I was eventually fighting for my life (which I did in a dark room, with no sound, not able to communicate effectively, unable to move around for abt 6 weeks when my lifelong learning seemed to reach is peak) I discovered joy, peace and the key to carrying it with as a constant. It is there and everything else is experience. Pain is as much a joy as pleasure. How? Just breathe. For 6 weeks I wud just breathe. If I hadnt my suffering wud have been beyond that which a human wud bother to stay alive for. So I wud live one breath at a time. And now I live one breath at a time and even tho everyone around me may percieve, analyse according to their standards and level of understanding, I am free. This body is just a karmic experience. U have an opportunity here too. Just breathe through every moment, feel it, experience it, feel the emotions, dont judge them. You are free.