Reply To: Consciousness Is The One Thing That Cannot Be A Construct

///Reply To: Consciousness Is The One Thing That Cannot Be A Construct
#6991 Score: 0

Aurora Carlson
110 votes

Wow Psychedelicacy such a beautiful poem! Thank you !! Simply wonderful πŸ™‚ Reading it, I got to realize that there is a need for a space on the forum for all the awesome poets gathered here. So the moderation team has decided to open a Poetry and Art Room πŸ™‚

Please everyone @krista @psychedelicacy @sree @derek-whitney @susan @lindzyb, everyone else , feel free to post all your beautiful creations related to YATU topics in our new Poetry and Art Room, share your pictures or videos or any other artistic expression you give life to by yourself or together with other members!

As to the little poem we are playing with together here, anyone who likes the idea and wants to play is very welcome to do so. I know Deepak, Menas, and I love to participate! Also, anyone who doesn’t like what’s being written is welcome to either suggest other versions or to just post their own separate poems. Whatever you want to do, please SAY SO and be happy about it! If everyone knows what everyone wants, we can move forward in the best way. @susan, we are waiting for your decision about your participation, you don’t seem to like the poem (you called it “interesting”) and so let us know if you prefer to post separately instead, or if the poem becomes good enough for you if we reverse to your initial lines. Whatever you prefer, it’s no problem at all, we’ll do so.

So, as our poem up to now has turned out to be in verse with a specific structure (rhyme A, rhyme A, rhyme B, rhyme B: punchline B) here is my suggestion for transforming Menas’ free verse contribution to this form:

Like ships passing by each other at night
We go through life aloof, despite
us being sisters and brothers,
forgetting there are no others.

We’re all sons, daughters, mothers and fathers.

In the vast universe, the Master Captain, our true Self
guides us, its infinite number of ships – to itself,
to the other shore, with loving care and steady hand
reminding us the ancient Truth we now might understand

You Are That, You Are the Universe, you are not small, but grand.

It’s just a suggestion, please anyone with better ideas jump in πŸ™‚

Psychedelicacy, do you want to have your new poem baked into this one, transformed to rhyme? Or do you prefer to post it as a separate topic in the Poetry and Art Room? The one doesn’t exclude the other. I hope you post it in any case! I hope that all of us who love to create and also savor poems and art can nourish an awesome corner where deeper truths are expressed this way.