03/01/2017 at 6:00 pm #5011
If in every moment the world I experience reflects my state of consciousness (I almost certainly see this now, from close observation), does that mean, for example, there’s no personality called Deepak Chopra that exists independently and outside of my consciousness. If my state of consciousness is unaligned to the source, which it feels like it indirectly is. Does that mean I could be giving myself the wrong answers, or misleading myself? Since what if my mind is behind the words being uttered whenever I hear the answers, instead of beingness source.
I guess everything being me, and me being everything feels kind of lonely. Being the supreme being/the ultimate reality. So I suppose that oneness has to create duality to feel loved. Just seems kind of sad, there’s just you, ultimately. It’s okay, I welcome it still.
Maybe once I experience ego death/awakening/enlightenment, which is probably the same thing as physical death, provided you let it happen fully. I’ll return to who/what I truly am, in totality. But is it a guarantee I’ll ever, for example, be Deepak Chopra. Or is every person and animal in the world never going to be me, as in, I’ll never experience their personhood. To put it simpler, is every mind/form in the universe ever going to be me. Or does the universe just dissolve when I die and God/the ultimate being moves on from that.
What determines whether once I’m as my timeless being directly, the infinite self state fully, whether I’ll return to personhood/ego as another form. I just wonder if after this present experience as this body, if I’ll ever leave that unbounded infinite state. How that process occurs that The One decides to identify with the body and fall into it.
Sometimes, I’m just afraid, by me existing, that I’m causing the obfuscated rest of me, that infinite timeless being, to suffer. I see the world suffer so hard, and I know it’s all me doing it, yet I still remain kind of apathetic. What if I’m hurting something other than me, although ultimately something which is me.
I just need to try to awaken/enlighten already, and while I await that, to try to remain neutral and not get provoked/caught up in the drama. The happier I am, the happier the world is. My moment to moment state is reflected in the world instantly. I just feel such deep remorse, for how foolish I acted in this life.This post has received 1 vote up.
03/02/2017 at 10:43 am #5020
Aurora CarlsonKeymaster110 votes@aurorac
Hello Psychedelicacy, thank you for sharing your questions with us. Many questions arise in the mind when one searches and feels intensely, don’t they? I see that you wonder about enlightenment, how it will be and what it will mean.
But may I ask you something?
What if enlightenment isn’t an event in the future, but a state of consciousness accessible right now? What if enlightenment is what you are right now, if you let go of all these many thoughts and wonderings?
What is the “I” if we don’t confuse it with all these thoughts and concepts that sometimes so abundantly flow through awareness? And also… when is the “I” if we don’t project it into a constructed past or future?
Are we not that right now, behind and beyond all the forms and concepts that arise, holding them all?
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