Hey!! Enjoyed this this morning!! and I am getting this book!!! I feel nothing, and am getting a lot of harshness and husband has changed so much that I don’t feel this is my life I wanted at one time. I wish he would love me and have been accused of doing things I have never done. He has put me through a lot believing I’m doing something sexual in my sleep (actually very embarrassing to share this) but he says I know what I’m doing because my eyes are open but I have no recognition of these events. He is the one who has had a history of sexual addiction in my opinion! But who knows? He video taped me for 3-6 months and have been very upset about this. He know is saying I am doing things like meeting up with people. When I know this is not happening. Anyways. I hope he wouldn’t put me through this to be mean for 3 months and is playing very victimized by this. And I can’t remember doing any of this in my sleep and his videos he showed me which was only 2 videos. Did not show anything I am doing that he is saying. If anything he seems to be doing this He is saying. He says I’m s narcissist and I have asked my closed friends and Sunday teachers if I was a narcissist. They are very honest and aren’t going to tell me anything that would be helpful and honest.
My main question is, is it possible for me to be doing this while without me knowing. I meditate and have been meditating for about 3 years now.
Also, he change in behavior, is this more a spiritual change or a humanly behavior that I’m being manipulated to believe because of his guilt.
One more information that is awesome for me to tell! I was reading the verse that is in Isaiah 41:30 or 30:41…( I believe). Well about 2 1/2 years ago I show this beautiful eagle and have never seen one so unique and wanting to be with this eagle or as if I was the eagle. And I felt that feeling for a few seconds. I have seen so many eagles and they are rare around here. But I never had this same feeling I had with this eagle as the ones I had with the eagle I first saw but I still get excited.
My life is going down! My marriage is not really a marriage and there is no happiness in my marriage with him because of how much we have changed and he is annoyed by my spiritual talks all the time. I’ll wake up one morning and as soon as I open my eyes, he says something negative. It sets my mood the whole day and I can’t get out of the bed and I have 2 kids that need me. I fake my happiness but know our kids pick up on it. He total attitude changed about 3 years ago once I decided to stay at home and he actually was the one who supported me staying at home way more than I really wanted.
He used to care about my feelings and now he seems to know nothing about feelings. I am wondering if meditation is changing me or this is something going on with him! Also listened to your healing cd and heard a voice that I know was not on the cd. It was the green healing sutra cd. I have tried hearing it after that but can’t!
Sorry this above message is very long and confusing because of the lack grammar and punctuation being revised. I hope you can understand me. Thank you for keeping your message out and not letting it stay inside. You are changing the world and the world is waking up! I believe this awakening is hard for people to go through but believe it will be for the best!
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